Insider Info #8 - The rejection "form" letter

​At some point in your career, whether when you are getting started, or when you feel the need to leave one publisher for another, or who knows when - you will get one of these. They are usually short, they are rather bland, they rip your dreamers heart to shreds, and they tell you abso-freaking-lutely NOTHING! Usually. Unless you are with a bigger publisher in which case you may (heavy emphasis here) get the "why" answered.

It will more or less go like this:

Dear [Your name/pseudonym here]

We regret to inform you that your story [Insert title you submitted here] is not a good fit for us at [Insert publisher name here]. We wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors.

Sincerely,

[Name of the schmuck that got stuck sending you this letter inserted here]

Now, let us note, this is a very short version of the rejection letter. In some cases it will be longer, in others... Pretty much what you see is what you get. Basically, whether your rejection letter is four pages long, or two measly sentences, it boils down to the same thing. They don't want to publish your story.

This can be extremely frustrating. We know, we understand, we sympathize and we buy Ben & Jerry's in bulk because of it. Sadly there is nothing to be done about it. It is what it is. Now, in some cases, you can send them a return email inquiring about what in your story wasn't a good fit. You do need to be careful here though, it's a bit of a shaky ledge to be hanging off of. They might tell you, they might not, either way, whatever they send you, do NOT get into an email discussion/argument with them. They are the publisher. They are *cough* "always" *cough* right. Ask if you feel the need, and take whatever they send back in the vein that it is helpful criticism. Unless they don't send anything back at all, in which case call them all sorts of names and plot their violent, bloody deaths. 'Cause we're authors, and that shits just plain fun!

While receiving a rejection letter is depressing, it's a fact of life, and life just isn't fair. If you are of the generation that actually played outside, got a job in high school for spending money, and didn't have your parent(s) catering to your every whim and need, you understand this. If you are from the generation that doesn't know what any of that previous sentence means in relation to you, boy-oh-boy, you have even bigger issues than one measly little rejection letter.

That's it for the moment - we'll have more on this topic, for sure!

The Moderator (the only one not with a current deadline - woohoo!)

Insider Info #7 - Idiosyncrasies of Publishers

This may not be an issue for all authors but we have discovered that, depending on a few factors, you may be or become one of the authors with a publisher who has a few... Hmm, how shall we put this? "Quirks".

We did a little poll through some of the authors we know, beyond our little group -though we did include our own experiences- to find out the answer to a question that kind of just came up during one of our Blog topic discussions. We did discover though that 99.999% of this issue tended to occur more with the e-Book industry publishers and less the more "traditional" print publishing houses. We're not talking about Harlequin, Random House, St. Martin's Press, etc, etc, for example. We're talking strictly e-Book first over anything else. We won't name any names but we're sure you can all come up with a list on your own.

The question was:  What is the biggest pet peeve you have with your publisher?

The answers were some we've all come across and a few that made us giggle too. And the answers were, in no particular order, limited only to ones that were clean and non-snarky.

• "Timelines for getting me my first/second round of edits, no consistency" -- Yeah, been there, done that! Sadly this is often the result of their work load on their end and the number of editors on hand at any given time. They do take holidays so give them a break. But keep an eye on the calendar and if your publishing date is approaching too fast, make some noise.
• "Seems like no one (left hand) actually knows what the others are doing (right hand)" -- Ouch! No solution here but to keep your own shit together and keep an eye on the horizon for any signs that their shit's about to blow.
• "My one editor seems to be great and the other has got to be having troubles or something because wow! Do they even read each other's notes?" -- No, we don't think they actually do, and you, the author, usually get blamed for that too BTW.
• "My publisher has a set of what they call House Guidelines for what can and can't be used in a story and how a story can flow. For example, they have this thing about semi-colons (that's the one used for a winky faced emoticon for all you new generation authors). But I'd swear they are not all using the same Guidelines! One says they all have to come out and the next editor goes and puts them all back in." -- Yeah, been there and done that too! Oh and you, the author, get blamed all the way for not using them where they should be if they should be.
• "I'm not sure what English language these people have studied and are "experts" at, but it's not the same one I was taught." -- It never is. We're pretty sure they all studied the Queen's English, in England, in the 16th century. Well, that's our take on that one anyway.
• "Vague emails to questions I have that really shouldn't be so hard to answer, what is with that?" -- Ahh, yes. This is the "covering our ass" diversionary tactic. Because the "boss" isn't always available and "legal" may be on a beach somewhere, there is some poor schmuck that is answering your email. High enough up the food chain to do so, but not high enough to give "official" word on anything. While irritating we found that just emailing back with a thank you and "can you pass this along to so-and-so so I can have these answered more to my desire" usually helps. But be nice and polite and ass-kissy.
• "Cover design, they ask what I want and don't want and then do whatever they want and yet I can't get it fixed or supply my own." -- Yikes! Ye-e-e-e-a-a-a-ah, been there too. This one bites the big enchilada for sure. Though, in a lot of cases, if you talk to your rep and explain why it's not your vision - or even what you requested per their nifty little form, they will get it fixed. You can even request a different artist to do the work from the supplied info you gave - not that they always will honor this one so be ready for a "no" on that.
• On a side note here: If you find a cover artist with your publisher that "gets" you and your visions, request them each time. Most publishers will ask you if you have a preferred artist when you do your cover art forms, FILL THAT PUPPY IN!

And the last one we put on the list... Because it was funnier than hell and, point of fact, happened to the author not once, not twice, but six times over a four month period making it even more amusing:

• "I think I was butt dialled by my publisher!" -- SWEET! But nothing here you can do except maybe send this person an email and let them know they might want to lock that puppy down when it's in a pocket.

We are sure there are many more out there. Actually, we know they are, but they were a little too personal and could involve privacy/contractual issues, so they were not added to the above list. There you have it. The joyous idiosyncrasies of dealing with a Publisher. If you have one you'd like added to our next list, we're sure there will be one, send it to us at:  the-unvarnished-author@gmail.com

The Moderator

Helpful Tips #8 - Location, location, location

Not only is this important in real estate, this is also important to your story. No matter what you choose as your backdrop think it through very carefully. And, whatever you do, keep very specific notes about said location.

Things to keep on hand about your locale's:

• State/Province, Country
• Area, ie: country side or city, suburbia or the crush of a down town jumping with action like New York or Vegas
• Buildings you use frequently, ie: where your characters live, work, play
• Side note here: basic descriptions of anything you use occasionally is good, but those places that they "live" in all the time, give more detail so people can visualize it all
• Know your weather patterns, ie: someone that's living in a Brazilian rain forest likely (though not impossible given weather patterns these days) won't see snow, so it shouldn't snow
• Neighbors, ie: do you have neighbors for your property, condo, whatever
• Side note here: if you do have neighbors give them names and basic descriptions if they are to be seen on occasion

Now, if you are doing Sci-Fi, or Fantasy, you need to do the same as the above but in even greater detail. You are creating a world, literally, for your characters to live in so ensure that you give amazing amounts of visual information. When you are creating something outside the "norm" if you will, you have to be even more verbose about it. Do not chintz out on your readers.

Oh, and don't just drop a bomb in the midst of things. For example, you give a great description of your world you've created, lots of this, lots of that, blah, blah, blah. And then you are into your story, character development, characters meeting and interacting, life is going well and then, BAM! You drop something in that is out of place and throws off their perception of the world you created.

We're not saying you can't add more detail, but keep it to the flow of the story, make it a part of what you've created instead of having it come off as an after thought. Thus why you should do your location development before you get too far into your story. The more you figure out ahead of time the more logical and real it will feel to your readers. You don't want to turn people off your story because it feels contrived or tacked on.

The Moderator

Helpful Tip #7 - Picking character names

Should be simple enough right? You'd think.

For your first book, your second likely and maybe even your third you likely have a bunch of names in your head you want to use. Old boyfriends, next door neighbors, people you knew in school, etc, etc, etc. If they fit your character go for it, just remember that if you give them some butch name and they are some guy you could destroy with a sneeze, it's just not going to sit right with your readers. The name you give your character must fit their persona and what they are doing in the world you're creating.

Now, as we mentioned, you likely have a list in your head for your first few books. But what about when you're on book number ten, or fourteen, or thirty? The well has dried up and you're stuck on another variation of Erin (Aaron) or Charles (Chuck, Charley), or whatever. Well, this is where the Internet or, if you have a baby book of names lying around, comes in damned handy.

There are literally dozens of sites out there that you can use to look up names. Both given and surnames. A good majority of these same sites will even tell you the meaning behind the name, where it originated from and what was the original format of the name that the one you like was derived from. Just like anything else, sometimes choosing a name is all about the research. Don't chintz out either, pick a good name that fits for what you're doing and who you are creating. These characters are like your children, don't name them something you can't live with, after all...you'll be stuck with them a hell of a lot longer than any kids you have will live at home. If your lucky.

One rule of thumb though, if you pick a name not a soul on earth can pronounce, put in somewhere at the beginning (or end) of your book HOW THE FUCK IT'S PRONOUNCED!! There is nothing more annoying then stumbling over a name of a character. It's like a jolt every time it appears for a while and soon the readers brain just lurches over it every time it appears after that. But if they know how it sounds out then it's a much more enjoyable experience. Cause we've all read books that have had oddly spelled names that we couldn't pronounce to save our lives. And, really, finding out after the fact from someone that knows the name or hearing the audiobook version of it, and finding out you were wrong all along, is like a kick in the gut.

Don't be a douche, use names we all can pronounce or tell us how it is pronounced.

The Moderator

Ideas, Thoughts, Tips?

We at The Unvarnished Author are always looking for ideas for our posts. And getting ideas for other authors or people in the business is the way we make these posts happen. So if you, or someone you know, has an idea to pass along please do. Do not post them in the comments as we might not see them right away. Send them directly to our email that we check daily.

You can email us at:  the-unvarnished-author@gmail.com

All ideas, thoughts and tips will be accredited to those that supply them so make sure you give us what you'd like attached to the post we do. First name and Last name initial only for the post credit. Links to interesting things and information will NOT be credited to the supplier, sorry! Unless we use something from the link's post or postings in a post on our own site, then you will be credited.

So, hit us up with what you've got! Just keep it clean and polite, no rants or off the handle tirades. Only we are permitted to do that and we do try to limit such things as much as possible. But we're human so even we have days we just have to flip the hell out.

The Unvarnished Team

Be Seen #7 - Post with care

We know, this sounds like a warning, it is. Just yesterday we saw a link posted on Facebook, where some of us hang out way too much instead of writing, that caught our eye from an author we happen to follow. And this is what precipitated us deciding to make this post. What would that be? you ask.

Ohhhhhhh, are we ever glad you did.

When you are online and posting, whether under your real name or your pseudonym as an author, you are seen. Your words are seen. Your rants are seen. Case in point! A person of the author nature wrote a piece for an online blog/paper that was an all out attack on an A-list author. A-list meaning someone that isn't scrambling for their next pay check or having to worry about things like a day job.

This person of the author nature clearly stated at the beginning of the piece that a friend had cautioned this person NOT to do the piece. At least NOT to put it out in the public eye. This person of the author nature decided to ignore this very sound and wise cautionary advise and posted the article anyway. Now this person of an author nature is paying for it.

By attacking an author, in this case an A-lister, this person of an author nature has gained a following. But not the sort that any author wants. This following hates this person of an author nature's guts, violently and viciously. The following (not to be confused with the TV series The Following with Kevin Bacon, James Purefoy and many other amazing actors) has shunned this persons works and this person on a whole. To top it all off, the news of this person of an author nature's stupidity has spread to a very popular online paper. And other A-list authors have stepped up to say what a dimwitted twit this person is.

We all want to be noticed. We all want to have our say and, in many countries, we have the right to freedom of speech. We are not trying to squash your right to freedom of speech - we are trying to get you to realize that just because you think it sounds great in your fucking head doesn't mean you fucking POST IT ON THE FUCKING NET!!!

*deep calming breath in..............and out*

Apologies. But we hope you get our point here. With the Internet anything and everything, as we've mentioned before, is PERMANENT! The Net doesn't ever forget and neither do your fans, the friends they told, the friends they told and so forth. If you want to go out with a suicidal bomb bang, be our guest and do it. But if you actually want to continue to write and make a living off your writing - guard your words carefully. Do not ever insinuate. Do not ever try for sarcasm. Do not ever get into a bitch slap word fight. And never, EVER, go off on any author on the Net if you ever plan on selling another book again in your life.

The Moderator

**For those interested in the two posts we referred to above you can see them here

The "rant":

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/lynn-shepherd/jk-rowling-should-stop-writing_b_4829648.html

The BBC post:  http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-echochambers-26331650

Submitting #8 - Series names

We briefly touched on this in Submitting #7 but thought we'd better cover it a little better, heavy emphasis on "little".

This topic won't affect every author out there. Not every author writes serials after all. For those that do the second hardest part after picking a title, is choosing your Series name. Now, we say this is second hardest for a reason, mainly because once you've chosen the name it's there for the run of the series. Unlike titles, which you must agonize over constantly! We feel your pain, we do it a lot ourselves.

So, what do you need to know about choosing a series name. Pretty much a lot of the same stuff for a title but with a few added challenges.

• Must be 100% relevant to your first book and your second and each after that.
• Must be something unique and bold, catching the readers eye as well as sticking in their brain.
• Shouldn't be hard to pronounce. Seriously, the authors that pick out words for series titles that need the pronunciation included should be shot!
• Shouldn't turn a reader off by being too similar to other series out there. There is a caveat on this one, if you are writing for a Publisher that has a "house series" then this doesn't count.
• Should be carefully ambiguous should your stories be a bit general. For example, if all your stories are military based, go with something very precise. But if your stories are more toward a genre but with recurring characters, ie: a historical romance, give yourself a little leeway by keeping the series name "loose".

Now, if you are the sort of person that at least half of our team is -not naming names or nothing- then you write your book, get ready to sub and sit there panicking because you don't know what the hell to call it. And you know it will be a part of series because you already have books two and three running around in your brain. Best piece of advise we can give you is to walk away.

Yup, you heard it right, walk away. Get up from your computer and go do something else. Just like when you are trying so desperately to remember where the hell you put your car keys/that receipt for taxes/the tickets to the big game or whatever, you're just digging a mental hole by trying to force it. So, walk away. Get a drink, go tidy up, watch a movie or do something that will force your mind away from the task at hand. Just like when it comes to your car keys that you just had in hand, the answer will likely pop up at the damnedest of times.

Or you could be like the other half of the group and have a dozen of them in your head. Write them all down and look at them from a readers POV. Do the check list and see if any or all of them fit with the story you wrote and the ones you'll be writing. Then you just have to whittle them down. This can be tough, which can be made easier with friends willing to read your story or a beta reader who's read the story. Put the series names to these people and give them an idea of what's to come to get their take on your ideas. Do not freak if they toss them all out. They aren't biased like you may be, it's your baby after all, so listen to these folks.

But, most of all, make sure you like the damned thing. Nothing more terrifying than giving a series a name that you end up hating by book two or four or six.

The Moderator

Helpful Tip #6 - The Dedication

This is something that every author will need to contemplate when writing or editing their book. Some authors have their dedications all lined up and others wait until that final step to put in a dedication.

We won't lie, dedications can be a bitch to write. For any number of reasons really. There are as many variations of the dedication for a book as there are authors. Each author has their own way of writing a dedication and choosing to whom the book shall be dedicated. We do have a few guidelines though to help you through this final task of prepping your book. Just remember, these are just general tips, not hard and fast rules - always go with your gut.

• Be sincere if that is your goal, keep the tone of the dedication in that note through the entirety
• If you're more a joker, keep it clean - and remember, not everyone may get your humor so be careful
• Quotes are nice too, just remember to give credit for the quote no matter if it's from someone you know or another author or from some famous person
• If you do a "Dedicated in the memory of...", be concise and heartfelt but brief, making your readers cry before they get to the story isn't a good thing
• Thank your readers from time to time - doesn't have to be every book, but remember to thank the ones that actually got you to this point, those that buy your books
• If you had help on a book (ie: from law enforcement, the military, your neighbor) thank them specifically and, if it's permissible to do so (check first!), use their name and rank/title

Now, we're not saying you have to put in a dedication. You don't. Plain and simple. Your publisher and editors give you the opportunity to think on it and decide if that is what you want to do. If it's something that is all you, don't feel obligated to dedicate it to anyone. Or dedicate it to something silly and show a little humor before your readers get into your story - again, keep it clean people.

Just make sure that whatever the dedication is, it reflects your inner self no matter if it's special, just a shout out, or if it's a quote from a TV show you were watching at the time you were writing the big scene.

Dedications are a way to give back a little something extra. So always be 100% sincere. Unless you can get away with a smart ass comment and then go with the smart ass comment.

The Moderator

Meet the Team

Since we've been running around providing you with all this information for the last couple of months, we thought it was time to introduce the Team. We're keeping all the information "generic" so that no one feels pressured in any way to buy something or perhaps feel biased by any information we give. Not saying it would happen, but who knows - right?

June Smith – Owner of our blog. June is a multi-published author of several novels and a couple anthologies she writes under a couple different names. Her main genre is Historical Romance though she’s been stepping out of her box of late and exploring more of an Erotic Romance theme with a new novel. Nineteen years married she has two daughters she occasionally will claim as her own, more often than not she tries to pawn them off on some unsuspecting sucker. June does a number of charity events as well as volunteering with a not-for-profit group for young mothers in her local area. With the spare time she has left between all her projects and her own family, who she never skimps on, she does a number of artsy type projects. Her current projects are learning to cross stitch without stabbing herself and swearing as well as finding a medium (ie: painting materials and surface) she can work with easily for painting. She has just recently thrown out water paints as they are too hard to get "just right".

Sam “The Moderator” – Answers only to Sam or Sammy, only an idiot or her mother ever uses Samantha and the idiot usually ends up limping. Sam was an only child until the rather shocking arrival of her twin brothers when she was nine. According to her, her parents were rather worried about how she’d take the news she was no longer the soul focus of their attention. Her reply at the time, a direct quote, “Thank God there’s someone else for you to finally smother”. Sam, if you hadn’t yet guessed, can be a bit of a smart ass. She is an up and coming author with four books, three full length novels and one short story, under her belt with a fifth currently slotted for early spring of 2014. Single and loving it she lives in a “quaint little place” that she has decorated to express her eclectic nature in what she calls a “you’ll love it or just not comment on it” manner. Sam is our primary poster for the page as she can touch type, chew bubble gum, cheer on her NHL team and hold a conversation all at the same time. Multitasker be thy name! Sam will also be the one answering your emails should you send one needing answering as she has the time and leniency with her day job to do a lot of the Internet stuff some of the others cannot or choose not to do.

George “The Original G-man” - Is another Moderator you should, in theory, be meeting in the future. George writes mystery novels for a living under two different pseudonyms. He claims that computers hate him and will only post when Sam goes on holidays if a gun is held to his head. We might just have to get him to post something strictly for the entertainment factor. He prefers sitting back and dictating to someone else or hand writing everything, including his novels. Which, given what happened to his last laptop, is likely best for the tech world in general. Though at least his computer place is loving him and we know for a fact the guys over there squee in anticipation of his excuse for why this particular computer broke "this time around" when he walks through their front door. He also picked out his own moniker and wouldn't let us veto him. He claims he will post the instant he finds his theme song. Yes, George is one of "those" people, but he has a lot of good ideas and can actually spell so we keep him around. George is a widower with two adult sons, one is just finishing college (or so George hopes) and the other is happily married to his childhood sweetheart and expecting baby number one. Georgie's going to be a grand-daddy! HA!

Tammy “The Newbie” - Last, but not least, is our final Moderator for the blog. Tammy is a budding author and actually part of the reason that June managed to talk Sam and George into starting this blog up with her. Actually, it was more like talking Sam into writing the blog for her than anything else. Because Tammy is just starting out in the business we've all been passing along helpful tips we've picked up over the years as authors - in between scaring the shit out of her. And, smart little cupcake that she is, Tammy said it would be nice to pass this along to others. So here we are, all because of Tammy. Boy this could come back to bite her in the ass later depending on how this all plays out LOL! Tammy is taken, for anyone that's wondering, she is engaged with a rough date set for early 2015 for her wedding. She has one older brother serving in the military that we are all very proud to have met and are sad to see go back each and every time he redeploys. Tammy will be posting when she has time with her current school workload (she's in university currently), her first book and all the wedding plans running amok. She won't be posting all that often for a time, at least until she likely has a few tales to tell all her own or school breaks occur - whichever comes first.

And there you have it. The Unvarnished Author Team. We're all certifiably insane, a little bit off balance and would go to the wall for anyone we call friend or family. We're eccentric and strange but you'll either love us or leave us.

The Team (insert Team theme music here that will be decided upon at a date yet to be announced)

Submitting #7 - Titles (and series)

So many may claim that writing the story is the hardest part. Others may claim that knowing just when/how to end a story is the hardest part. But we think, at least in our humble opinions, that choosing a book Title is the hardest part. Quickly followed by a Series name. We'll focus on the titles in this since we (meaning me) don't feel like typing out title/series every time.

Now, we're not saying this occurs all the time. Some book titles just come to you, a flash of something and BAM! there it is. Some titles you know before you've even started the book. Some titles even inspire you to write a story and who and where the characters will go all come from it as well.

Then there is the other 40-90% of the time. Sitting there, at the end of the story, staring at it and going "what the hell should you be called?". It sucks. Especially if it's your first book - this is the book that introduces you, makes your mark, announces you to the world! It's important to get it just right. We did a quick poll amongst ourselves, the four of us, to find out how many titles we thought of and tossed on that first book. On average, it was eight titles. Eight titles that we wrote down, thought about and quickly dismissed only to have to come up with something else. That doesn't sound like a lot, but it really is.

A title can make or break your book. A title has to catch the eye of the reader, draw them into reading the blurb and then make them buy it. Everyone says "don't judge a book by it's cover"? How true is that in reality?

Too short and it may not say what you need it to. Too long and people get bored just reading the title. Ambiguous and you'll lose the reader right off. Too pointed and they may think you're trying to tell them something - could go either way. So what is the perfect recipe for a title?

No, seriously, we're asking. What is the perfect recipe for a title?

Everyone has a theory but really, we don't know if there is a clear and concise answer. While we know that shorter titles tend to attract readers quicker, too short titles throw them off - or so the "experts" claim.

Our best answer to the title dilemma is this. Pick something that relates directly to your story. Don't write a book about vampires and name it "Pretty Pink Clouds". Unless these vampires live on "Pretty Pink Clouds", it's really not an appropriate title for your book. Especially if it's dark and dangerous in vibe. That title just made it sound all sunshine and rainbows with unicorns hopping about. A serious turn off for readers to be duped in such a way.

Good news is, your publisher will likely smack your fingers if you tried the above scenario. They don't want you naming it something inappropriate either, not when their name is attached to it.

The Moderator

And, we're back! Sorta...

Hello everyone! Long time no post, we know. We are back to some degree though it will be a little spotty for the next week and a half as a couple of the crew are still under some pretty serious deadlines. But we didn't want you to think we've abandoned you or any of the woes you may be dealing with.

Thankfully we won't have another possible crunch with all of us involved for a good long time. Our schedules are usually randomized enough that this doesn't occur, unfortunately this was on of two, sometimes three, times a year when it does. So, good news for you (or bad depending on your POV), we're ba-a-a-a-a-ack!

The Moderator

Sorry all!

Hey everyone,

We're so sorry! We all forgot about some major deadlines some of us have approaching too damned fast and are now currently scrambling to get everyone back on schedule. Too many things all going on at once obviously. We will be back soon, don't know for sure when that will be, but we will be back.

Until then - ideas, tips and/or questions shoot them on over to our email and we will get back to you as soon as we can. The email is:  the-unvarnished-author@gmail.com in case you don't know it.

Back to the grindstone for us all. Stay aware and question everything!

The Moderator

Submitting #6 - Submitting do's and don't's

This is a topic that has a few hard and fast "rules" we'll call them and then a bunch of "guidelines" as well as a few "never hurts to do" points. We're going to focus on the hard and fast "rules" or the do's and don't's about Submitting in this post. The others were already covered, to a degree, in the previous posts under this topic so we won't harp on them.

The Do's:

• Spell & Grammar check - You won't catch everything so don't freak, but at least give it a good once over read to ensure that you haven't used a word that makes no sense in the midst of a sentence. Again, you won't catch it all but at least if you've done your best you've provided a good first impression.
  
• Follow their guidelines - Publishers ask for a very specific list of items to be part of your submission. Follow the list to the letter and if you have a question, ask - especially if this is your first submission, you'll pick it all up as you go so don't freak.
• Don't be too "wordy" - When they ask for something like a brief synopsis or a page synopsis or blurb or whatever it might be they are asking for keep it tight. This means to hit on all your key points of the story and not get lost in a retelling. Names, conflict, danger(s), trial(s) and resolution(s) are the best ones to put in. You're trying to sell your story in under, roughly, 300 words OR LESS. Think it through and then write it out. Once you have it written go back and edit and whittle it down to whatever their count requirement is. If you're over a word or two - DON'T FREAK. We've cheated and squeezed in a couple here and there a time or two, it's not a deal breaker
• Re-read your email - Before you send off your submission ensure you read the email or, if you have someone there with you, have them read it. Check the spelling of your name, your pseudonym if you're using one, your mailing address and phone number for contacting you. This is VERY important and we often overlook the simplest of errors especially when it comes to an address and phone number. Then you can quickly breeze through the other stuff with an eye to the details.
• Double check - Have you put in every single thing the publisher requires? ie: Name, Pseudonym, Address, Phone Number, Synopsis, Blurb, and so forth. Have you attached your manuscript? This is a biggie, you would not believe how often an author has sent off a submission only to realize, mere milliseconds later, they forgot to attach the most important piece - the manuscript. This is embarrassing since you now have to resend the entire email - just don't forget it a second time. Cause if you do you might as we just go into a closet and lock the door behind you.

The Don't's:

• Mass email - You may have a series written. You may have them all ready to go at the same time. What you may NOT do is mass email. This will just piss off your publisher and, if you're lucky, have them stick everything at the bottom of the received pile for the month. Unless you have specifically talked to and discussed it with your publisher, send no more than one email a week - just our guideline. If you HAVE talked to the publisher and s/he says to send them through one after another - do it. Do NOT take the initiative upon yourself.
• Play the field - This means submitting the same story to multiple publishers, don't do it. Submit to one publisher and if they refuse it then you can move on but if you do submit to two or more at the same time you have to think, what happens when two or more want it? Play it safe and don't be a douche bag.
• Oversell - Every author wants to believe their story is the next big thing to make or break the industry. But in this day and age, with so many publishers out there and so many dedicated e-book authors, it's doubtful. So don't be one of "those" authors that gets all cocky and oversells their story. Be honest, be sincere and let it speak for itself.

There you have it, some more stuff for you to consider when you send in a story. The above holds true for new authors and seasoned vets. No matter how many books you have under your belt, no matter how many publishers you write for, keep yourself humble in all your dealings. The publisher doesn't care that you sold 5, 500 or 5,000 on your last book. All they are looking at is what you've sent them in the now. Be in the now and not in the clouds.

The Moderator

The Scoop #6 - From the mouths... (warning: language)

The biggest blows to your career can come from multiple directions. One of the worst though, at least in our minds, come from your fellow authors. These would be those spiteful, conniving, vengeful assholes who think nothing of ruining your reputation just so they can find a little pleasure in their day. They only do this because they know for a FACT they are not even half the author you are, they are not even half the human being you are and because they want to feel better about themselves and their too pitiful little lives. It is a sad thought to know someone you might consider a friend is actually the one both stabbing you in the back but also twisting the blade.

It is also the truth. Because your fellow authors, one's you may chat with on a daily basis and who you might call "friend", are the ones that know just what to say to ruin your career. Oh, and they don't even care if they have to bend the truth a little or a lot, hell they'll even make shit up too if it serves their purposes. But they are not dumb, not by a long shot. They are complete and total idiots and morons, there's no doubt about that, but not dumb. They know just who to pass a word to, say just the right thing to have someone asking "what do you mean?" and then they can dish. But it always comes with the infamous and eye rolling precursor "now this may just be rumor but I heard..." insert smack talk here.

And there is not a fucking thing you can do about it. It's that simple. People will talk shit about you behind your back to those you are either trying to establish a working relationship with or are working with now just because they are jealous little ho's. We're sorry about the language (mostly) but it's the damned truth! If these people had even a smidgen of an ounce of self-worth they would never, ever feel the need to attack another human being in this manner. But then again, we're talking about self-centred ass wipes without a grain of a conscience being worse than a group of teenage girls who just saw the captain of the football team giving the "unpopular" girl a bit of attention instead of mooning over their primped and spoiled "cheerleader", and so damned fake, asses.

Straight up fact - women can be bitches, men can be assholes, you can even switch those roles around. But not everyone is that way. Some of the nicest people (on the surface anyway) on the planet would sell your soul, yours not theirs, for a few bucks while some of the biggest jerks (appearance/attitude wise) have some of the biggest hearts of gold around and would give you the shirt off their backs. No matter what - don't judge a book by it's cover, don't talk about your business (and by business we mean what you're doing to make money) with another person you don't trust implicitly and never online and don't ever, ever, smack talk about someone to anyone else. That shit will bite you so hard and you will come out smelling like shite!

There is our two cents on this topic with, we are so absolutely sure, more to come in the days and weeks and months to come.

The Moderator

The Unvarnished true story

We recently had someone send us an email that asked us just why we had started this blog and why now. These were very good questions and June knew we absolutely had to answer these for everyone to hear. So, for this next part it will be in first person from the person's point of view of just why this all came to be. No names will be mentioned at any time to protect everyone's anonymity and events mildly altered to give no information away that could cause trouble for anyone.

"It was a great day, a Wednesday if we want to be specific and I was meeting with a couple of my author friends for drinks to discuss life and just generally be social. The sun was out and the day was warm, there was a slight breeze bringing the scent of freshly cut grass right to us as we sat on the patio sipping our various and seriously alcoholic beverages. We were waiting on food to arrive when I get a call.

Excusing myself from the table I step away to take the call. It was not a good call, not in the least. My skin broke out in a cold sweat, my heart and pulse were thundering and I swear there were black spots dancing around my eyes. It was another friend and associate, one that was at a publishing house with me calling, she was in tears. We'd been screwed six ways of Sunday. The absolute worst mistake an author could make had just happened to me and in the blink of an eye I felt like I'd been hit by a speeding train that hadn't quite done the job.

The publisher we were with was in a legal tangle with no end in sight and, therefore, so too were it's authors. Myself and my associate on the phone with me included. Getting all the information from her that I could I thanked her, hung up and stumbled back to the table. Falling into my seat I grabbed my rum and Coke and downed that sucker like I'd just come from the Sahara desert after a month without water. My friends with me were all wearing various looks of concern as I waved down the waiter and asked for another double, hold the Coke.

Once I had the fortifying beverage in hand and half of it down I told them everything. They were all there for me, sympathy and offers to help in any way they could. But how could they? Really, how could these wonderful people help me dig myself out of this pit I find myself in without a rope or even a glimmer of light to guide me? Downing the rest of my drink I sat there staring blankly into space for who knows how long before I snap out of it.

Refocusing on them I look them each in the eye and say, quite clearly this I remember, don't make my mistake. Take this as a lesson for each of you and don't do what I did."

We all took those words to heart and got our friend through the mess that followed that phone call. While there is still a bit of turmoil over it we knew that we had to do something to help other authors out there. Yes there are groups out there already but so many of them are very clinical and slightly off putting in the way they are put together - absolutely NO offence meant to any of these groups, they just aren't the way we felt we had to do this endeavor. We wanted to do something that came from us, from the heart and from real life experiences that we all have had or heard about. So this is why June and the three moderators all got together to do this blog.

While we are all in varying stages of our careers we all felt we had something to offer to new and even established authors who are thinking about moving on or expanding. We can all learn something from one another and that is what this blog and the posts on it are all about. While a lot of our posts are from our own personal experiences, there are other posts that have been inspired by things we've read on various sites or have been triggered by the way someone has said something to us during our day.

So, there you have it, the main (but not only) reason The Unvarnished Author came to be. We hope that you enjoy our blog and please, if you ever have a question, email it to us and we will answer you either directly or if we feel it merits being a post, we'll do one up just like we did here.

The Unvarnished Team, via The Moderator

Be Seen #6 - Don't forget to have fun

As the Subject suggests you have to remember that while you are in the business of promoting and selling your books, you can't do it all the time. You do need to relax and have fun as well.

Chat with your fans, find out what they are reading, what they love about characters, what they hate. Find out what they feel makes a good villain, a great hero and a readable heroine. Find out what/who they are currently reading and why they love the book or series. This is all information that you, as an author, can use to grow yourself. But don't forget to also talk about what/who you are reading and why you love the book/series. This allows your fans to get to know you better too in a not overly I-have-diarrhea personal way.

A number of authors do a day of the week event, as do many other groups including publishers, where they are just goofy and have fun with the day. For example, we know that there are groups on Facebook, for example, who do topless Tuesdays - usually geared toward the female crowd but there's usually a few geared for the men as well. Another we know about does a Throwback Thursday - blanking on the group name but if it ever comes to us we'll definitely give them the credit due to them for this brilliance. They usually do a head shot of an actor, back in the day side-by-side with one from more recent - a then and now sort of deal.

Whatever you do dedicate the day to just being a little bit silly and invite your fans to join in the fun by asking them to send you images, if that's the way you go, or info if you decide you want to do something different. It's a great way to a) interact with your fans; b) have them involved and; c) have a bit of fun!

One word of warning though. There will always be at least one person that takes offence to whatever you decide to do. DO NOT LET THIS GET YOU DOWN! No matter what group is out there, what you personally do or write, there will be haters. It's a fact of having a semi-public life. Let it roll off your back like water from a duck and move on with those that are fun and open to the silliness. And if this/these people/persons get out of hand - BAN THEIR FUCKING ASSES!

So it is, so shall it be. We have spoken.

The Moderator

The Scoop #5 - Be careful what you say

No matter where you say it, or why, you need to be careful of your words. We're not talking about slinging insults or "your mama's so fat..." jokes, we're talking about discussing your stories.

Not everyone out there is your friend. Even a "friend" may not be a true friend. So always be very careful about what you reveal about a book/story you are writing before you have it submitted to your publisher. We've been lucky and never had this happen to us but we're more than sure there are authors out there who have had a story idea/premise stolen through a conversation with a "friend".

We're not saying don't talk about your newest project, just don't reveal too much. What is too much? Good question, for example please see the below dramatic re-enactment provided to you by the people at FOX. Okay, we're kidding!

• Too much - I'm writing a new story about a man who wakes up with amnesia in a foreign land and yet knows the language. He has all these crazy ass skills, like hand to hand combat and weapons training, that just come to him when he needs them. People are out to kill him and he's trying to figure out who this mysterious government group is that apparently he belongs to, or did because they think he's dead. He races around the world trying to figure out who he is while taking out their agents and other officials trying to stop him. He kidnaps this French girl who assists him and they do this crazy drive through the city taking out vehicles and driving down stair cases. (In case you're wondering and didn't get the reference - we hijacked The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum for this demonstration)
• Enough - I'm writing a new story, it will be action packed and you'll never know where the danger is coming from. Which will be on several fronts, both supposed friends and foes will be after my character, it will be quite a ride.

As you will see in the "Too much" example, you've basically handed a plot line to someone out there. And if you do not have a copyright on it at that moment, you do not own it. Now, yes you thought it up (in this case we borrowed Robert Ludlum's premise) but can you prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt that someone else didn't think of it sooner? Someone who then wrote it before you and submitted it before you did thereby getting copyright on it before you did. Likely not. Yes, the technological age has many amazing and great benefits. But for every benefit there is an asshole out there that has figured a way around it all and will screw you over.

So, better to taunt and tease a little by giving your readers, fans and potential "friend" just enough to whet the appetite but not enough to let them grab it and run. So, be careful what you say and to whom. You never know who might be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Sad to say, yes, but better mildly paranoid then out your next book.

The Moderator

Insider Info #6 - Things you may never have thought of

Now, as most of the first world population is on Facebook - and other social media sites - this problem may not come up. But it is something important you need to know.

As an author you want to have a fan page for, well, your fans. This will be a place for them to gather and rave about your greatness and... Okay, so that may be pushing the envelope a little, but we can all hope right?

Something you may not know though is that unless you create a page for your author persona and then a fan page, you could run into difficulties. Where? you ask. Glad you did. Advertising on Facebook. If you ONLY have a fan page - in other words you have your own personal page and you "Create a Page" - you can NOT advertise as your author persona, only as your real life self. At all. Ever. You need to actually make a Facebook account for your author persona and then create a page for your fans from that persona. This of course doesn't matter if you are using your real name but if you are writing under a pen name, be forewarned. Yeah, screwy huh?

We think so too but with the way things are always changing and moving on Facebook we're never sure what the hell is going on anyway. Which brings us to another tip we want to warn you about on Facebook. Check your "Active Sessions" on a regular basis. Wait! Before you freak, we have directions.

Go to the little "cog" in the blue bar at the top of your screen. It's the little round bumpy looking wheel to the right of your name and the little lock that looks like it's going really fast. Click on it and scroll down to "Account Settings" - click on it. Once you are in there you want to look to the left hand bar where a number of things are listed. It reads, in descending order:  General, Security, Privacy, Timeline and Tagging, etc, etc.

You will want to click on "Security". At the bottom of these bolded headings of the page that just appeared reads "Active Sessions". Click on "Edit" to the right of it (little blue link) and a drop down like screen will appear. You need to know where you are signed in from at all times so you know if someone is hacking your account. Try and remember if you check your Facebook from work, your phone, a tablet or iPad, etc. But these should (in theory - unless you are on a trip) be all in the same city. If there are ANY not in your current location - click the little link to the right that says "End Activity". Do this with every session NOT your own. Then, immediately, change your password and check again. Hackers are evil little shits and they love to do stuff to fuck you around.

Once you have done a second round of checks. Change your password one more time. This may seem redundant, you just did it. But that old saying, better safe than sorry, applies here. So do it! Once you have done that - warn your fans. Post up a message letting them know that you were potentially hacked -if you can, give a rough time line as well- and let them know that anything before your current message should be ignored as potentially dangerous spam especially anything with a link in it.

There you have it, our helpful tips to ensuring the safety of your online life. We will have more to come.

The Moderator

Be Seen #5 - Don't slack off now!

You've gotten yourself online, you've pimped your book and let everyone know it's coming as well as teasing them until the big day arrived in spectacular fashion, but you can't stop now.

Take a break, definitely, you need to take a little time for yourself once you've gotten over the hump. But you can only slack off for so long. You need to keep up your online presence so that you can chat with those that have just bought your book. Plus you need to mention it every now and again so it stays fresh in the minds of those who couldn't get it yet, didn't have a chance to get it or who are waiting until payday to go shopping crazed on the online sites.

This does NOT mean that you post everyday about your book that's now out and available, that just pisses people off. But posting once every couple of weeks is quite acceptable. In and between all that you should post about other things, talk about your next project or generally just stay in touch with your readers and fans. You need to keep yourself out there, but remember, don't share too much personal information (as discussed in Be Seen #1).

A good way to avoid too much personal information and yet still let people feel they are getting to know you, is talking about the next project on your plate. Is it a continuation (serial) to the book you just published? Is it something new you are trying? Give them a little bit of an idea about what it's about, just don't commit yourself to anything in particular. Especially if you are not 100% sure what the story will be yet. But you can talk about the idea a little, not too much though, you need to be very careful on this point. Too much information and someone else can scoop your idea.

Yes, that does happen, but that will be covered in another post so stayed tuned.

The Moderator

Submitting #5 - The wait

You've submitted your book and now one of the worst things possible begins... The wait.

This is the time period between submitting and getting word your work has been accepted, or rejected, by the publisher of your choice. If this is your first book it is a terrifying time of second guessing yourself and wondering what all else you could have done to maybe give your work a boost over all others. Question after question will begin to pour through your head as you go back to look at the email you sent in. Did I spell everything correctly? Did I mention something I shouldn't have? Did I not mention something I should have? Did I forget one of the steps that's a must to get this accepted? Did I even remember to send in the manuscript?

The questions will rattle you but, remember, this is normal and every author had this happen that very first time. It's a terrifying experience. More so because you know, for a fact, that some nameless, faceless person on the receiving end is now deciding your potential fate in the world of published authors. But have faith. If you followed your list of must do's (Submitting #2 - Create a check-list) then you are as well off as you possibly can be.

Get your mind off the wait, it is going to take a while no matter how polished and amazing your story is, how concise you were in your synopsis and cover letter. 

Do the only thing you can, occupy yourself. Pour all that nervous tension and energy into something productive, like another story. Any time your mind starts to wander and you start looking at the calendar to calculate the days, hours, minutes and seconds since you emailed the publisher, push it aside and write. Focus everything you are on a story to get out of your own head.

Or you could clean, if you really wanted to, but who really wants to clean? Cooking is also good or baking, but do something to keep yourself busy and otherwise occupied mentally.

Remember, just because you haven't heard back from the publisher within 8 minutes 42 seconds of sending the email, means NOTHING. Most publishers have a huge waiting list of works to look over. Check the submission section (or the FAQ) of their site and you will likely find what the "average" time for word back on a submission is. On average 2-6 weeks is relatively standard. Some will give longer time frames depending on the time of year. Remember, these people get holidays too. So, chill!

The Moderator

The Scoop #4 - The clique mentality

Oh, how we fucking hate this. It's not bad enough we all had to suffer through the clique's in high school, now we have to do it in the business world too.

All publishers have clique's, it's a fact no matter how much they deny it. There are some "good" clique's and then there are the ones that we will be discussing.

• Genre Clique's - These are not necessarily bad, but can go that way if the people involved don't keep their heads out of their asses. This clique is based specifically around the genre's in which author's write. For example: Historical Romance, Mystery, Fantasy, Paranormal, Erotic are just some of the many genre's. In most cases, but not all, these clique's are geared toward assisting writers in these specific genre's and they do tend to be helpful. From providing help over blocks, assistance in research to just reading something that isn't working for you and providing a second (or third) set of eyes to help you figure out why this isn't working.
• Ass Kissing Clique's - These are bad, bad, bad clique's. Like in high school these clique's are a group of people that revolve around one central figure and generally can't think for themselves. They always look to the central figure, or leader, of the clique for how to behave and what to say in any given situation. This is the clique that if you are not on the inside you are on the outside and acts much like Sheeple (which we covered in The Scoop #3). These are "yes" men and women who, like a group of high schoolers, really don't have the mentality to stand up for anyone because then they wouldn't be "popular" any more. These are also the ones we often refer to in our posts as the Golden Ones.

The above are just two of the clique's most seen but there are clique's within clique's, sub-genre's if you will, that can be potential holes to fall into. No matter what you do as an author remain true to yourself. Think for yourself and be yourself. While this will not always be popular, who said life was fair?, at least at the end of the day you can feel good about yourself and what you did that day. Which is better than wanting to crawl into a little hole and hide because you compromised your own integrity.

The second clique from above is more likely to be found in smaller, more intimate publishing houses. Think under 100 authors. Any of the bigger houses it's harder to find these clique's but they do exist, it's just not as noticeable and obvious and therefore a little trickier to navigate. Unfortunately if you are a part of a smaller publishing house and you are not in the clique than you are pretty much screwed. Because those inside the clique will gleefully and with permission make your life and career hell. Not that you'll be able to prove anything, but you have to remember that they are going to do whatever is necessary to ingratiate themselves further with the leader of their pack of assholes.

Just don't get sucked in. If they are into making snide and snotty comments that ride the line of bullying, always be chipper and cheerful, don't give them anything they can use as fodder against you. Remember, because they are sadistic brats they will be reading all your posts looking for an opening to dig into and be shit heads. If they step up their game to outright bullying and such, screen shots and report their asses to anyone and everyone you can think of. While it won't stop them from coming back at you at a later date, at least they know you are onto them. The downside of that of course is they will likely come back with a strategy that is harder to prove.

That's all we've got on this topic, for now. Sadly there are enough assholes out in the world of writing that we will end up with more over time.

The Moderator