Insider Info #8 - The rejection "form" letter

​At some point in your career, whether when you are getting started, or when you feel the need to leave one publisher for another, or who knows when - you will get one of these. They are usually short, they are rather bland, they rip your dreamers heart to shreds, and they tell you abso-freaking-lutely NOTHING! Usually. Unless you are with a bigger publisher in which case you may (heavy emphasis here) get the "why" answered.

It will more or less go like this:

Dear [Your name/pseudonym here]

We regret to inform you that your story [Insert title you submitted here] is not a good fit for us at [Insert publisher name here]. We wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors.

Sincerely,

[Name of the schmuck that got stuck sending you this letter inserted here]

Now, let us note, this is a very short version of the rejection letter. In some cases it will be longer, in others... Pretty much what you see is what you get. Basically, whether your rejection letter is four pages long, or two measly sentences, it boils down to the same thing. They don't want to publish your story.

This can be extremely frustrating. We know, we understand, we sympathize and we buy Ben & Jerry's in bulk because of it. Sadly there is nothing to be done about it. It is what it is. Now, in some cases, you can send them a return email inquiring about what in your story wasn't a good fit. You do need to be careful here though, it's a bit of a shaky ledge to be hanging off of. They might tell you, they might not, either way, whatever they send you, do NOT get into an email discussion/argument with them. They are the publisher. They are *cough* "always" *cough* right. Ask if you feel the need, and take whatever they send back in the vein that it is helpful criticism. Unless they don't send anything back at all, in which case call them all sorts of names and plot their violent, bloody deaths. 'Cause we're authors, and that shits just plain fun!

While receiving a rejection letter is depressing, it's a fact of life, and life just isn't fair. If you are of the generation that actually played outside, got a job in high school for spending money, and didn't have your parent(s) catering to your every whim and need, you understand this. If you are from the generation that doesn't know what any of that previous sentence means in relation to you, boy-oh-boy, you have even bigger issues than one measly little rejection letter.

That's it for the moment - we'll have more on this topic, for sure!

The Moderator (the only one not with a current deadline - woohoo!)

Insider Info #7 - Idiosyncrasies of Publishers

This may not be an issue for all authors but we have discovered that, depending on a few factors, you may be or become one of the authors with a publisher who has a few... Hmm, how shall we put this? "Quirks".

We did a little poll through some of the authors we know, beyond our little group -though we did include our own experiences- to find out the answer to a question that kind of just came up during one of our Blog topic discussions. We did discover though that 99.999% of this issue tended to occur more with the e-Book industry publishers and less the more "traditional" print publishing houses. We're not talking about Harlequin, Random House, St. Martin's Press, etc, etc, for example. We're talking strictly e-Book first over anything else. We won't name any names but we're sure you can all come up with a list on your own.

The question was:  What is the biggest pet peeve you have with your publisher?

The answers were some we've all come across and a few that made us giggle too. And the answers were, in no particular order, limited only to ones that were clean and non-snarky.

• "Timelines for getting me my first/second round of edits, no consistency" -- Yeah, been there, done that! Sadly this is often the result of their work load on their end and the number of editors on hand at any given time. They do take holidays so give them a break. But keep an eye on the calendar and if your publishing date is approaching too fast, make some noise.
• "Seems like no one (left hand) actually knows what the others are doing (right hand)" -- Ouch! No solution here but to keep your own shit together and keep an eye on the horizon for any signs that their shit's about to blow.
• "My one editor seems to be great and the other has got to be having troubles or something because wow! Do they even read each other's notes?" -- No, we don't think they actually do, and you, the author, usually get blamed for that too BTW.
• "My publisher has a set of what they call House Guidelines for what can and can't be used in a story and how a story can flow. For example, they have this thing about semi-colons (that's the one used for a winky faced emoticon for all you new generation authors). But I'd swear they are not all using the same Guidelines! One says they all have to come out and the next editor goes and puts them all back in." -- Yeah, been there and done that too! Oh and you, the author, get blamed all the way for not using them where they should be if they should be.
• "I'm not sure what English language these people have studied and are "experts" at, but it's not the same one I was taught." -- It never is. We're pretty sure they all studied the Queen's English, in England, in the 16th century. Well, that's our take on that one anyway.
• "Vague emails to questions I have that really shouldn't be so hard to answer, what is with that?" -- Ahh, yes. This is the "covering our ass" diversionary tactic. Because the "boss" isn't always available and "legal" may be on a beach somewhere, there is some poor schmuck that is answering your email. High enough up the food chain to do so, but not high enough to give "official" word on anything. While irritating we found that just emailing back with a thank you and "can you pass this along to so-and-so so I can have these answered more to my desire" usually helps. But be nice and polite and ass-kissy.
• "Cover design, they ask what I want and don't want and then do whatever they want and yet I can't get it fixed or supply my own." -- Yikes! Ye-e-e-e-a-a-a-ah, been there too. This one bites the big enchilada for sure. Though, in a lot of cases, if you talk to your rep and explain why it's not your vision - or even what you requested per their nifty little form, they will get it fixed. You can even request a different artist to do the work from the supplied info you gave - not that they always will honor this one so be ready for a "no" on that.
• On a side note here: If you find a cover artist with your publisher that "gets" you and your visions, request them each time. Most publishers will ask you if you have a preferred artist when you do your cover art forms, FILL THAT PUPPY IN!

And the last one we put on the list... Because it was funnier than hell and, point of fact, happened to the author not once, not twice, but six times over a four month period making it even more amusing:

• "I think I was butt dialled by my publisher!" -- SWEET! But nothing here you can do except maybe send this person an email and let them know they might want to lock that puppy down when it's in a pocket.

We are sure there are many more out there. Actually, we know they are, but they were a little too personal and could involve privacy/contractual issues, so they were not added to the above list. There you have it. The joyous idiosyncrasies of dealing with a Publisher. If you have one you'd like added to our next list, we're sure there will be one, send it to us at:  the-unvarnished-author@gmail.com

The Moderator

Helpful Tips #8 - Location, location, location

Not only is this important in real estate, this is also important to your story. No matter what you choose as your backdrop think it through very carefully. And, whatever you do, keep very specific notes about said location.

Things to keep on hand about your locale's:

• State/Province, Country
• Area, ie: country side or city, suburbia or the crush of a down town jumping with action like New York or Vegas
• Buildings you use frequently, ie: where your characters live, work, play
• Side note here: basic descriptions of anything you use occasionally is good, but those places that they "live" in all the time, give more detail so people can visualize it all
• Know your weather patterns, ie: someone that's living in a Brazilian rain forest likely (though not impossible given weather patterns these days) won't see snow, so it shouldn't snow
• Neighbors, ie: do you have neighbors for your property, condo, whatever
• Side note here: if you do have neighbors give them names and basic descriptions if they are to be seen on occasion

Now, if you are doing Sci-Fi, or Fantasy, you need to do the same as the above but in even greater detail. You are creating a world, literally, for your characters to live in so ensure that you give amazing amounts of visual information. When you are creating something outside the "norm" if you will, you have to be even more verbose about it. Do not chintz out on your readers.

Oh, and don't just drop a bomb in the midst of things. For example, you give a great description of your world you've created, lots of this, lots of that, blah, blah, blah. And then you are into your story, character development, characters meeting and interacting, life is going well and then, BAM! You drop something in that is out of place and throws off their perception of the world you created.

We're not saying you can't add more detail, but keep it to the flow of the story, make it a part of what you've created instead of having it come off as an after thought. Thus why you should do your location development before you get too far into your story. The more you figure out ahead of time the more logical and real it will feel to your readers. You don't want to turn people off your story because it feels contrived or tacked on.

The Moderator

Helpful Tip #7 - Picking character names

Should be simple enough right? You'd think.

For your first book, your second likely and maybe even your third you likely have a bunch of names in your head you want to use. Old boyfriends, next door neighbors, people you knew in school, etc, etc, etc. If they fit your character go for it, just remember that if you give them some butch name and they are some guy you could destroy with a sneeze, it's just not going to sit right with your readers. The name you give your character must fit their persona and what they are doing in the world you're creating.

Now, as we mentioned, you likely have a list in your head for your first few books. But what about when you're on book number ten, or fourteen, or thirty? The well has dried up and you're stuck on another variation of Erin (Aaron) or Charles (Chuck, Charley), or whatever. Well, this is where the Internet or, if you have a baby book of names lying around, comes in damned handy.

There are literally dozens of sites out there that you can use to look up names. Both given and surnames. A good majority of these same sites will even tell you the meaning behind the name, where it originated from and what was the original format of the name that the one you like was derived from. Just like anything else, sometimes choosing a name is all about the research. Don't chintz out either, pick a good name that fits for what you're doing and who you are creating. These characters are like your children, don't name them something you can't live with, after all...you'll be stuck with them a hell of a lot longer than any kids you have will live at home. If your lucky.

One rule of thumb though, if you pick a name not a soul on earth can pronounce, put in somewhere at the beginning (or end) of your book HOW THE FUCK IT'S PRONOUNCED!! There is nothing more annoying then stumbling over a name of a character. It's like a jolt every time it appears for a while and soon the readers brain just lurches over it every time it appears after that. But if they know how it sounds out then it's a much more enjoyable experience. Cause we've all read books that have had oddly spelled names that we couldn't pronounce to save our lives. And, really, finding out after the fact from someone that knows the name or hearing the audiobook version of it, and finding out you were wrong all along, is like a kick in the gut.

Don't be a douche, use names we all can pronounce or tell us how it is pronounced.

The Moderator

Ideas, Thoughts, Tips?

We at The Unvarnished Author are always looking for ideas for our posts. And getting ideas for other authors or people in the business is the way we make these posts happen. So if you, or someone you know, has an idea to pass along please do. Do not post them in the comments as we might not see them right away. Send them directly to our email that we check daily.

You can email us at:  the-unvarnished-author@gmail.com

All ideas, thoughts and tips will be accredited to those that supply them so make sure you give us what you'd like attached to the post we do. First name and Last name initial only for the post credit. Links to interesting things and information will NOT be credited to the supplier, sorry! Unless we use something from the link's post or postings in a post on our own site, then you will be credited.

So, hit us up with what you've got! Just keep it clean and polite, no rants or off the handle tirades. Only we are permitted to do that and we do try to limit such things as much as possible. But we're human so even we have days we just have to flip the hell out.

The Unvarnished Team

Be Seen #7 - Post with care

We know, this sounds like a warning, it is. Just yesterday we saw a link posted on Facebook, where some of us hang out way too much instead of writing, that caught our eye from an author we happen to follow. And this is what precipitated us deciding to make this post. What would that be? you ask.

Ohhhhhhh, are we ever glad you did.

When you are online and posting, whether under your real name or your pseudonym as an author, you are seen. Your words are seen. Your rants are seen. Case in point! A person of the author nature wrote a piece for an online blog/paper that was an all out attack on an A-list author. A-list meaning someone that isn't scrambling for their next pay check or having to worry about things like a day job.

This person of the author nature clearly stated at the beginning of the piece that a friend had cautioned this person NOT to do the piece. At least NOT to put it out in the public eye. This person of the author nature decided to ignore this very sound and wise cautionary advise and posted the article anyway. Now this person of an author nature is paying for it.

By attacking an author, in this case an A-lister, this person of an author nature has gained a following. But not the sort that any author wants. This following hates this person of an author nature's guts, violently and viciously. The following (not to be confused with the TV series The Following with Kevin Bacon, James Purefoy and many other amazing actors) has shunned this persons works and this person on a whole. To top it all off, the news of this person of an author nature's stupidity has spread to a very popular online paper. And other A-list authors have stepped up to say what a dimwitted twit this person is.

We all want to be noticed. We all want to have our say and, in many countries, we have the right to freedom of speech. We are not trying to squash your right to freedom of speech - we are trying to get you to realize that just because you think it sounds great in your fucking head doesn't mean you fucking POST IT ON THE FUCKING NET!!!

*deep calming breath in..............and out*

Apologies. But we hope you get our point here. With the Internet anything and everything, as we've mentioned before, is PERMANENT! The Net doesn't ever forget and neither do your fans, the friends they told, the friends they told and so forth. If you want to go out with a suicidal bomb bang, be our guest and do it. But if you actually want to continue to write and make a living off your writing - guard your words carefully. Do not ever insinuate. Do not ever try for sarcasm. Do not ever get into a bitch slap word fight. And never, EVER, go off on any author on the Net if you ever plan on selling another book again in your life.

The Moderator

**For those interested in the two posts we referred to above you can see them here

The "rant":

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/lynn-shepherd/jk-rowling-should-stop-writing_b_4829648.html

The BBC post:  http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-echochambers-26331650

Submitting #8 - Series names

We briefly touched on this in Submitting #7 but thought we'd better cover it a little better, heavy emphasis on "little".

This topic won't affect every author out there. Not every author writes serials after all. For those that do the second hardest part after picking a title, is choosing your Series name. Now, we say this is second hardest for a reason, mainly because once you've chosen the name it's there for the run of the series. Unlike titles, which you must agonize over constantly! We feel your pain, we do it a lot ourselves.

So, what do you need to know about choosing a series name. Pretty much a lot of the same stuff for a title but with a few added challenges.

• Must be 100% relevant to your first book and your second and each after that.
• Must be something unique and bold, catching the readers eye as well as sticking in their brain.
• Shouldn't be hard to pronounce. Seriously, the authors that pick out words for series titles that need the pronunciation included should be shot!
• Shouldn't turn a reader off by being too similar to other series out there. There is a caveat on this one, if you are writing for a Publisher that has a "house series" then this doesn't count.
• Should be carefully ambiguous should your stories be a bit general. For example, if all your stories are military based, go with something very precise. But if your stories are more toward a genre but with recurring characters, ie: a historical romance, give yourself a little leeway by keeping the series name "loose".

Now, if you are the sort of person that at least half of our team is -not naming names or nothing- then you write your book, get ready to sub and sit there panicking because you don't know what the hell to call it. And you know it will be a part of series because you already have books two and three running around in your brain. Best piece of advise we can give you is to walk away.

Yup, you heard it right, walk away. Get up from your computer and go do something else. Just like when you are trying so desperately to remember where the hell you put your car keys/that receipt for taxes/the tickets to the big game or whatever, you're just digging a mental hole by trying to force it. So, walk away. Get a drink, go tidy up, watch a movie or do something that will force your mind away from the task at hand. Just like when it comes to your car keys that you just had in hand, the answer will likely pop up at the damnedest of times.

Or you could be like the other half of the group and have a dozen of them in your head. Write them all down and look at them from a readers POV. Do the check list and see if any or all of them fit with the story you wrote and the ones you'll be writing. Then you just have to whittle them down. This can be tough, which can be made easier with friends willing to read your story or a beta reader who's read the story. Put the series names to these people and give them an idea of what's to come to get their take on your ideas. Do not freak if they toss them all out. They aren't biased like you may be, it's your baby after all, so listen to these folks.

But, most of all, make sure you like the damned thing. Nothing more terrifying than giving a series a name that you end up hating by book two or four or six.

The Moderator